What a Catch!
Remember all the fuss over a NYT article about how more and more women are remaining unmarried? See, this guy's being funny, but he's being serious too:
Look, ladies, deciding not to marry for your own well-being is one thing, but it is we you’re not marrying in the process. Your decision is killing single men — literally.Single men partake in more risky behavior than married men. We eat badly, smoke more, and avoid doctors’ offices. We die younger. And we’re far more likely to wake up in a pile of crumpled newspapers still clutching the tequila bottle we began sipping from two days before.
Sheezlebub's great response at Pandagon:
What a catch! Where do I sign up for that? Who needs a baby when you can be some random entitled nitwit’s mommy? If you could throw in horrific personal hygiene and a predilection for punching walls, I’m in baby!
Hey, I could even pass on the name of a certain Ivy League wall-puncher, if you're so inclined...
Here's another real winner:
Personally, I have given up on women – for reasons based on aesthetic, economic, and karmic criteria.* Aesthetically — I no longer pursue relationships with women because by-and-large, modern American females are no longer particularly desirable. Feminism has largely extinguished femininity, replacing it with the modern, aggressive, masculinized Go-Grrrrlz careerist prototype. In pursuing masculine forms of power, women have remade themselves into poor imitations of men. As a heterosexual man, I am not erotically attracted to my own gender. So, why should I be attracted to faux-men in skirts? (And no, I do not wish to see women sequestered at home barefoot and pregnant.) But please don’t ask me to find ball-busting, affirmative-action professional diversity princesses with toxic feminist entitlement attitudes and the requisite uncritical certainty in their moral, intellectual, and emotional superiority (over lowly, subhuman men) — DESIRABLE as potential relationship partners.
The best part of it is the opening line - that's right, this tool has gone and done the best thing any woman could ask him to do - remove himself from the dating pool.