It's Been a While Since I Tried to Talk About Art
Scene: semi-hipster bar in Northeast Portland
Cast:
Me, unfortunately clad in clothes for working outdoors, not standing in bars
New Acquaintance J, a young architect, roommate of a good friend
NAJ: Yeah, we work all night at least once or twice every two weeks.
S: What's your project?
NAJ: Are you familiar with mumblemumbleDeStijl?
S: Yes, of course!
NAJ: Really? We are building his museum in Denver. (Long explanation of museum project, lots of high-minded design talk, little mention of functionality)
S: (Thinking: Hmm. Wait. His? Isn't De Stijl a movement, not a person?) Very nice. Tell me how his work has influenced your museum design.
NAJ: I must say, you're the first person I've met who actually knew who mumblemumbleStill is.
S: You don't say. (Shit)
NAJ: You must be a fan of abstract expressionism, then!
S: You could say that. I took some art classes in college, but art wasn't really a viable career option for me. (I did not actually have any talent)
NAJ: What kind of art do you do?
S: Um, well, it actually kind of looks like the art on the walls in here. (These are better than anything I could make, but I do like them)
NAJ: So, lots of graphic design and pop influences, eh?
S: For sure. It's hard not to, really. I'm not, like, the next Jeff Koons or anything though. Not that kind of pop influence. (A ha! Chance to reference an artist I actually know!)
NAJ: I would love to put a Jeff Koons in my house.
S: ...
NAJ: Are you familiar with mumblemumblerandomartist?
S: Um, no, tell me about him/her.
(Repeat, several times, for the rest of the evening)
--
As it turns out, upon Googling, Clyfford Still was a pretty cool abstract expressionist. With kind of a crazy ego. But I like his later work.