The Flying Machine

Here's some Southern news for those who will appreciate it -

Ridin' Dirty in Alabama - Some of the cops in Mobile, AL have started using drug bust money to purchase drug dealers' pimped-out cars from impoundment lots. And then they ride 'em around town.

Officers then take the slab to the hood—scraping tail, flashing rims, thumping Mike Jones, or whatever—as if to say, “This is what happens when you cross the law, suckers!” Their current ride is a canary yellow 2006 Dodge Charger with a 5.7 liter 8-cylinder HEMI. The cops are known as the Ridin’ Dirty team... (via MoJo)

State of the South - The always-excellent Facing South has an overview of regional indicators for the South - economy, environment, education, etc. In general: things aren't so great, but there are a few bright points. It's worth a look. (via Facing South)

Posted by Sarah at 1:09 PM | Permalink

The Flying Machine's foreign correspondent DB is currently living in Texas and relaying tales of the weird, the LOL-worthy, and the people-are-plumb-crazy. Check out this photograph of a Texas carpet store, where the parking lot is paved with carpet pieces. File this one under "weird."

Posted by Sarah at 7:33 AM | Permalink

So I'm reading this Times piece about New York Congress folk and it's a little annoying. New "locus of power," talking about all the money they're going to bring in, etc. And then this:

“Mississippi gets more than their fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?” Mr. Rangel said.

WTF, man. Don't you be dissing the South like that.

If you must read the article, which is lame, it's here.

Posted by Sarah at 7:33 PM | Permalink

So back in my day, there were basically two beauty pageants in DeSoto County - Miss DeSoto and the Watermelon Queen. Lately there have been a few more contenders for most-absurd-display-of-pageantry in the county. One of the more rondonkulous events is happening this weekend. Had to share.

There are 256 contestants in the new Miss Arcadia pageant. 256. Why so many? Well, take a look at these categories:

Baby Miss and Mr. Arcadia: birth to 11 months
Toddler Miss and Mr.: 1-2 years
Teensy Miss and Mr.: 3-4 years
Tiny Miss and Mr.: 5-6 years
Mini Miss: 7-8 years
Little Miss: 9-10
Petite Miss: 11-12
Jr. Miss: 13-14 years
Miss Arcadia Queen: 15-18
(this, of course, will be the finale - the high-school girls)
Ms. Arcadia: 18-21, 22-48
Senior Ms. Arcadia: 49 and up.

That's right. Every age from birth 'til death has a category. You could be a beauty queen for LIFE!

(The press release is also a hoot.)

Posted by Sarah at 10:07 AM | Permalink

You might be a redneck if...

(I didn't take this one - I found it on Flickr. Too funny.)

Posted by Sarah at 10:00 AM | Permalink

I think my neighbor has a new boyfriend.

Posted by Sarah at 9:05 PM | Permalink

I wish I could tell you that this is a joke, but it's not - it was actually published in the DeSoto Sun this morning.

So the tug of war has started in this agricultural-based, Lord-loving community, that for as long as the pioneers can remember has spewed serenity and genuineness. It would be a shame to have friction between the people and government. Stop all the hard-thought processes and feelings that range from anticipation to frustration and breathe deep, while calming ourselves.

Think about the beautiful land, the meandering waterways, clear skies and clean air. Fill yourself up on wonderful thoughts. Do this often to prevent being outraged, as many have expressed themselves as being over these most recent issues before us.

Please try to be fair in your thought process and attempt understanding for each side. Weigh the outcome from that process and come up with your most honest answer.

Whatever you feel, you should be sure to participate in the next county meeting being held on Sept. 26, in the county administration building. Meet with our local governing body, hear their decrees and be prepared to support or defy, because we all are a part of real political action and the action from this step forward will be so meaningful.

(article here)

Posted by Sarah at 7:52 PM | Permalink

I went poking around the internets today and found some Southern links for you:

1) This is my favorite. Looking at the Project Alabama galleries, I came across this anecdote - about biscuits. (p.s. Seriously, check out PA. It's a remarkable organization.)

"After I had been living by myself for awhile, I brought a boyfriend around for Sunday lunch with my family. When the meal was almost over and everyone was feeling good and relaxed, my grandfather - in his deepest baritone voice - questioned my boyfriend over the table... 'Does she make a good breakfast biscuit?' he asked, pointing my way. Silence fell and my boyfriend paused for what seemed like an eternity. Luckily, he was clever enough to gather his senses about him and answer, 'I don't know - I've never been there to try one!' Everybody had a good laugh and nothing was ever said about it again."

2) I really need this t-shirt.

(it says 'remember' inside the heart)

3) Redux Studios - it's a non-profit arts space in Charleston. Part of me would love to work at a place like that.

4) VA Senator George Allen (the 'macaca' guy) claimed on Fox News that Virginians don't really care about the remark he made. Uh-huh. Maybe he ought to broaden his social circle a little bit.

Posted by Sarah at 6:28 PM | Permalink

- This morning I was scanning the radio dial on my way to work (my iPod had a dead battery) and I hit on the 92.9 KIX Country morning show. They were running a trivia contest about football players, and the prize was a Cracker Barrel gift certificate and a shopping spree at Tiner's Western Wear.

- One of my coworkers brought her mom in this morning to meet everyone in the office. She came in to say hello and she was completely sweet and friendly. And then she turned around to leave and I saw that she had the most amazing haircut: a ringlet mullet. Business in the front... Elizabethan in the back?

Posted by Sarah at 8:44 AM | Permalink

There were some good items in this week's police beat. One even involves snakes, albeit not on a plane.

* 1100 block of Southwest Golden Avenue: A woman reported a snake in her house.

* 200 block of North Luther Avenue: A woman reported that a man, whom she referred to as "the phantom," had a gun and was going to get her.

* 1600 block of Southeast Carnahan Avenue: A man reported some money and jewelry stolen from the pocket of a pair of his pants that were in a closet.

* 2700 block of Northwest Rimes Road: A resident reported her neighbors were "spinning out" in her yard and were "ranting and raving" at her.

* County Road 760/769: A caller reported people picking palmetto berries.

Posted by Sarah at 9:17 AM | Permalink

Reporting from a very nice hotel room in Pendleton, Oregon: a few recent DeSoto Police Beat items:

(it seems to have been a slow week in the po po beat, folks)

* Southeast Shady Oaks Avenue: A brown cow and a black cow were reported heading toward Carlstrom Field Road together and walking in the middle of the road.

* 1300 block of Southeast Fourth Avenue: A resident reported someone removed a statue from her yard.

Posted by Sarah at 11:43 PM | Permalink

Reading the Police Beat is a great 5-minute work break. I think I'm gonna make posting some of these a regular occurence.

Today's highlights (actually from the past few days):

Neighborhood Watch:

* 2300 block of Southeast Quail Avenue: A man reported that someone stole his well.

(yeah, I don't know how one would steal a well either.)

* 1100 block of Southeast Esmerelda Drive: A woman reported that someone severed her connection to electricity.

* 12900 block of Southwest County Road 769: An alligator hiding underneath a tree beside a house was reported.

* 900 block of Roberts Avenue: A man complained that he had been hit on the head at the Hess station and does not know who hit him or why.

* 200 block of South Brevard Avenue: A woman paid for merchandise with five rolls of what were supposed to be dimes, but turned out to be pennies.

* Lettuce Lake Campground: A pygmy goat was reported running loose in the campground.

* 100 block of Lowe Street: A resident reported someone was trying to take her air conditioner out of her window.

Posted by Sarah at 11:30 AM | Permalink